who is this person?
There are 374 people in the U.S. named Bridget Jones.
There’s the Bridget Jones from Kansas City who’s now a Razorback in Arkansas.
A Bridget Jones who’s a pet stylist currently beautifying a Rottweiler.
The self-employed Bridget Jones doing a live make-up tutorial on how to whip out an effortless eyeliner wing.
There’s even a Bridget Jones who’s been living with hiccups for three years. Yikes.
But there’s only one person named Jon Beltrano. And absolutely zero named John or Joe.
The Jon Beltrano who, in 2019, graduated from the Missouri School of Journalism with a gleam in his eye and an objectively impressive collection of crystals.
The Jon Beltrano who was retweeted by John Oates in 2014 because of his impeccable impersonation (see below).
A Jon Beltrano who has preserved the same White Barn candle for almost five years. In case you’re wondering, it is warm caramel cider.
The same Jon Beltrano who has a knack for writing copy and forming strategies that ignite desired conversions and inspiring conversations, among other things.
My full name being a novelty doesn’t mean much if I’m not giving it the best reputation it could possibly have. So, when I’m armed with the game plan and a pair of headphones, I dip my quill pen, fix my powdered wig and get to revolutionizing my namesake so one day generations of Beltranos down the line will look back in admiration and thankful pride.